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Eulogy for
Dorothy Belzil (Smith, nee Tennant)
written by
Caroline Yewchin, a long-time friend
We first met in about
1977 and my respect and love for Dorothy has grown year by year. About 3
weeks ago, we had our last good visit and she asked that I present her
eulogy .... that’s being awfully trusting Dorothy, so listen up, this is
about you.
When I met with
Dorothy’s family around the kitchen table, Tami said that things or
possessions were not important to her Mother; but people were...her
relationship and ties to those she loved is what defined her life. As we
continued to talk, so came the recurring theme of strings, threads, and
cords that bound Dorothy in different ways, to all of us. As we remember
Dorothy together, you will see that at times, her cords had the strength
of steel as she navigated incredible challenges; at times her strings
were kinky or wonky as her sense of humor saved the day; sometimes the
threads stretched thin as relationships pulled away, only to be drawn
back together again. In Dorothy’s book, ties and relationships could
become stubbornly knotted, unraveled, or frayed but were never
permanently severed. She never gave up on people and believed the best
of them. To Dorothy, this is what love was all about.
Dorothy Jessie Louise
Tennant was born to parents Leslie & Elsa Tennant on August 20th, 1930.
Her parents were blueberry picking near their home in Owlseye, Alberta
when Dorothy’s decided it was time to arrive. They barely made it to St.
Paul where Dorothy became one of the first babies born in St. Therese
Hospital. Her Daddy worked on the railroad and one of her happiest
childhood memories was running down the hill to meet him after work. He
would hold her hand tightly and share a bit of lunch from his big lard
pail, that he had saved just for her. Dorothy didn’t know how her
parents managed through the depression years, as she, her brother Hughie
and sisters, Evelyn, Joyce & Carol-Ann always had new warm clothes and
boots for school and real skates for skating on the slough.
At the tender age of
18, Dorothy cut the apron strings from her Mom & Daddy and on August 23,
1948, married Russell Smith, a handsome young man, just home from the
Army. Daddy wasn’t convinced that she was ready to leave home, but
Dorothy’s strength and independence won him over. It was love and as far
as Dorothy was concerned, she was getting married and that was all there
was to it.
Russell and Dorothy
had seven children, Yes, seven children! With a twinkle in her eye, she
call them her “train babies”. Russell came home from work on the train
at 4:00 in the morning. It was too early to get up and too late to go to
bed, so.... Dorothy’s ball of string grew bigger with the addition of
her children, Louise, Ron (Bim), Peggy, Joy, Jerry, Tami, & Cheryl.
Dorothy & Russell and their young family moved many times - to Ponoka,
Bawlf, Wetaskiwin, Mayerthorpe, Cold Lake & Ashmont to name a few.
Cheryl said her Mom was a packing expert ... she organized things in
plastic bags and could back an entire household into a cardboard box.
This skill was obviously passed on to her children .... when they
converged as a family in St. Paul, they all pulled out items - packed in
plastic zip-lock bags.
In 1963, Russell was
tragically killed in a car accident, leaving Dorothy a young widow with
7 children to raise. Of necessity, her string became a cord of steel.
With very little financial support, her resourcefulness, creativity and
strength were revealed. Louise said Mom could make a pound of hamburger
feed 10 people. It was also common to have macaroni for the main course
and jello for dessert. When asked, “Mom why do we always have macaroni
and jello?” She replied, “so that the jello can full up the holes in
the macaroni!”
Dorothy planted a
giant garden, giving each child a patch of their own to plant what they
wanted. It kept them all busy and the cellar full. Dorothy used to say
that the wolf wouldn’t dare knock on their door, because he’d likely end
up in the soup pot. Bim recalls that at the age of 13, he shot a moose -
Dorothy was so happy she cried with joy, because her family was going
from baloney to steak, virtually overnight. Cheryl said that being
practical was a survival skill - you never wasted anything. Friday night
was FDD... Fridge Day Delight... whatever was leftover in the fridge
from the week, appeared in the pot on Friday night .... it could be a
stew, or a soup, or some other “delight”.
Raising 7 children
alone was no easy task... Her kids claimed that Dorothy had exceptional
hearing and could hear earth worms crawl. In reality, Dorothy could hear
them talking through a duct pipe system in the house, thus kyboshing
their nefarious plans. She also let them believe that she really did
have 17 eyes in the back of her head. Jerry said that his Mom taught him
honesty and responsibility. The boys once took some tatoo gum from a
confectionary and hid it under their cowboy hats. When Mom found out,
she made them march back to the store and apologize, then pick bottles
until the gum was all paid for.
Joy remembered her
Mom’s wicked sense of humor and the fact that she could laugh at
herself. Once Dorothy was doing a crossword puzzle. She was looking at a
clue and asked Joy, “what the heck is an Or-an-gutton?” Or-an-gutton?
Mom, that’s Orangutang! They both broke into peals of laughter. However,
Peggy said, if you ever made Mom mad enough to cry, then you ran and hid
(under the bed was the place of choice) because you were in BIG BIG
trouble. Dorothy would yell out, “Louise, Tami, Cheryl!” dammit you
know you are.... get in here!
Dorothy believed that
you didn’t have to be rich, but you had to be clean and tidy. There
would be no bugs in her house! Cheryl said that if you opened a bottle
of bleach, all the grandchildren would say it smelled like grandma. (the
bouquet of flowers on Memorial table attests to this.) Everyone had
chores, and you wouldn’t dream of leaving them half-done. There was no
such thing as “a lick and a promise” in Dorothy’s world. She
ruled her roost with a firm, but fair hand.
As the children grew,
so too did Dorothy’s ball of string, as they brought special friends
home, who all called her “Mom”. Dorothy’s life became richer and fuller
with the marriage of her children and the addition of her beloved
grandchildren & great-grandchildren.
At the age of 52
years, Dorothy’s string got an interesting tangle - she met Marcel
Belzil again. Dorothy had worked for Marcel in the Hatchery in the mid
1960's and met him again when she moved back to St. Paul in 1982 to help
care for her aging parents. It was also during this time that she took
driving lessons, a “practical” gift from her kids. Dorothy was so
excited when Marcel called her for a date, she backed into her sister
Joyce’s car!
They were together for
over 10 years before Marcel convinced Dorothy to tie the knot on
Christmas Eve, 1994. Sadly, Marcel passed away in February 1995. Dorothy
continued to live in her house, spending time with her neighbours, Mr. &
Mrs. Kitz; visiting Marcel’s sister, Carmen; and going with friends to
Tuesday borsch day at Our Soup Kitchen.
For her 65th birthday,
her girls took her on a trail ride to Banff. She absolutely loved it!
She was the first one on her horse, and in her distinctive deep voice,
was heard to declare, ala John Wayne, “Come on pilgrims, get your
butts in the saddle!” To her family, Dorothy was the original
internet provider ... “The Source of Information”. If she read an
article in the paper, she did a phone-fan-out cautioning against this
risk or that. “Don’t eat tomatoes!” From her books on antiques to her
encyclopedias, she researched everything, and would give you 15 pages of
information on a given topic. She never stopped being the #1 mom and
grandma to her family.
Tami, who looked after
7 children in a day home of her own, once sent her Mom a card, thanking
her for not giving them all away after their Dad died. Dorothy
immediately called Tami to say, “the thought never crossed my mind”.
When I last spoke with
Dorothy, she told me that, and I quote, “My greatest accomplishment
in life was raising my children to the best of my ability and watching
all of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren”.
To Dorothy’s family:
Your mother was an amazing woman who faced both life and death with
grace and strength and humor. Her last gift to you was being able to
gather you home, so that you could reconnect as family. You have chosen
a beautiful poem for her card:
Love is a Circle
Children are born,
grow up, fall in love,
Have families of
their own...
But through the
years
A Mother’s love is
the silken thread
that binds the
family together.
If you could keep the
thread of your Mother’s love, strong and centered, it would be a
wonderful and lasting gift to her. |